Relationships

So I've been married for...oh...just over a year now. And I'm finding that the statement "marriage is the most rewarding thing you can ever do, but it's also the hardest" to be very true! In fact I was talking with a student the other night and she said, "yea, my parents have been saying that for 25 years!" Ha! Awesome. I love finding new ways that I'm selfish...sarcasm. But in light of all this, I find myself face to face with the greatness of God's grace and mercy, especially through my wife. What a blessing! 

However, if the process of coming to grips with the reality of how selfish we are and how difficult it is to actually live out the call to "love your wives as Christ loved the church" is difficult for adults then how do we hope for students to get it? 

Last night we had our Rated "R" for Relationships night. I started by talking about how we were created with a DRIVE inside of us that's different than any other drive. It's the drive to be known "fully" - there is a reason why in the OT the word in Hebrew for intimacy between spouses is "to know." Deeply we all crave to be in a relationship where there is total exposure...to be known fully. We crave in the deepest way for someone to know all our faults, all our failures, and to look us in the face and say "I love you and I forgive you." 

But here's the kicker - it's all too easy to fill that DRIVE with another person. Even for married people that's difficult. That's why Paul redefines a fundamental piece of our theology...in Ephesians 5 he quotes Genesis 2 by saying "man shall leave his father and his mother and be united with his wife. and the two shall become one flesh." Paul makes it clear that this mystery is great, but at its deepest core it touches what we need most: a relationship with God. All of us need a God first mentality before others. In any marriage the common thread on both ends must be GOD FIRST, spouse second. If both the husband and wife have this mentality, like Ephesians 5, God first, then it becomes easier for one to sacrifice for the other, to love the spouse like Christ loved the church, by meeting their needs...like Christ met our needs. I'm learning that both spouses must sacrifice themselves to meet the others needs, with the result that each others needs are met, thus both satisfied. 

But how do we teach students about healthy relationships? We have to start with the GOD first. We can't strive to fill our DRIVE with another before Christ. We must fill the need to be Fully Known first with God...after all, only God can know me fully. Teaching students to fill their hearts with Christ is the valuable thing we can do to help students prepare themselves for a healthy marriage. More than dating, more than healthy exposure (though I don't discount it), having a solid relationship with Christ - being known fully and striving to know God - is the most important thing. 

Thoughts?