Parents,
So excited to start this conversation with you parents to see how we can all together engage in the body of Christ to fight against both Satan and the barriers we face that hinder spiritual depth!
We'll start today with a statement: All churches have struggles. Can we agree to that? Yes. Ok. We can move on. This isn't where we're going to spend our time, but the problem with churches is that they're filled with people. We should all be able to laugh to that I'd think because it's true. A little bit of self-depracation (in relationship to our total depravity...I'm being serious!) is necessary to understanding the gospel. But one of our main struggles at Calvary is that we're a commuter church. Now don't resign to leaving and going somewhere else! Goodness no! There's nothing wrong or unbiblical with being a commuter church, but it creates different dynamics that we must together intentionally battle.
We can't expect church to be perfect. PAUSE: I (Seth) think, we should never "expect" a church to do anything, in the sense that we'd selfishly demand of others, which can push us towards a "works" oriented structure. However, UNPAUSE: what can we "HOPE" a church might demonstrate? Now that's a question worth pursuing.
CONTEXT: We represent anywhere from 10-15 different major subdivisions and communities, with an equal amount of schools (if not more). That's tough! Try getting students to really, I mean to DEEPLY connect with others when they're not doing life together! Trying to get students to share deeply is like trying to get two badgers to talk. What do badgers have to talk about? Nothing! In fact, they'd rather sit there and claw at each other! (you may laugh, but as you know, with teenagers this isn't so uncommon!). Even their concept of relationships (or youth group as a family) is messy. Too many students these days think that relationships are purely about hanging out, watching movies, gossiping, trying on new clothes at the store, playing video games, eating together are all characteristics of a quality relationship. NEWS FLASH! All that means is that they "dislike" that person "less" than another person. Interesting isn't it? I think I have friends like that too! Those friendships are good for fun...and for witnessing (!!!), but they lack seriously in the department of what Christ calls the church body to do.
So how do we move forward? It's my HOPE that all churches, including ours, demonstrate both inside and outside the walls, DEEP and BIBLICAL RELATIONSHIPS. That goes for in youth group, adult classes, during worship, connecting afterwards...BUT IT STARTS WITH FAMILIES. If deep and biblical relationships are modeled at home, then it is that much easier for us all to live out and overflow biblical relationships at church. How I treat my wife at home needs to be my primary focus and source of overflow for how I treat people at church. And it all focuses around one figure: CHRIST.
Below are the five principles that I would "hang my hat" upon when discussing the nature of biblical relationships. The first being love. These are what I HOPE that we as a church body, both pastors and volunteer staff, along with Parents and families, can begin to model both at home and at church.
1. Unconditional Love - healthy families have a deep sense of Christ-like love.
Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "...be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for for us, a fragrant offering a sacrifice to God." Jesus himself said, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." I could add another dozen verses if space allowed. Love is not how we'd use it today: sexualized, eroticized, even in how we talk of cheeseburgers. It's impossible, and I hope not experienced, to have an intimate relationship with a cheeseburger. Love as Christ examples it is this: the commitment to sacrifice oneself unconditionally and ceaselessly to those who (like ourselves) don't deserve it. Are committed, devoted to one another so much that we would die for those around us? Next to us in the pew? I told the students, and I mean this from the very bottom of my heart, that I would die for any student in that room. If it required of me to risk my life I would. That's not to boast of me, but to boast of what Christ did for me and how he has instilled that same love in me for the students I am privileged and called to shepherd. But would I die for the man or woman getting coffee in front of me? What does our love look like and for whom is it for? Do we have in our hearts and demonstrate the sacrificial love of Christ?
2. Forgiveness - (healthy families forgive each other because CHRIST died for all and no one person in a family is More or Less sinful than another - Rom. 2:1-11, also Eph. 6:4 specific for dads)
3. Acceptance (of uniqueness and differences without judgement)
4. Accountability (in love - spurring each other out of sin and towards good deeds)
5. Prayer (no one person can do this apart from Christ and the work of the Spirit)
What if our families, youth group, church, schools, were learning this type of a community? That relationships are more than late nights and mountain dew? More than trying on clothes? What if students, the next generation, knew how to engage each other by LOVING the way Christ loved? WOW!!! So exciting!!! Perhaps, just perhaps, they could learn quicker than some of us, the true meaning in marriage, when Paul said, "Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church." That would be seriously awesome.
What are your thoughts on these principles laid out? How have you seen things work in your family? Not work in your family? What stories can you share?
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